Ambrose Bierce (1842 – 1914?) is probably best known for his tongue-in-cheek definitons of seemingly randomly chosen words in his 1906 book “The Devil’s Dictionary.” Born in 1942, he was the “perfect” age for military service in the 1860’s when the Civil War was raging. He did indeed serve in the army until he sustained a near fatal head wound, which meant a discharge from sevice and a lengthy recovery, attended by his brother. Bierce wrote short stories and poems and was also a journalist, at one point working as a columnist for the San Francisco Examiner. The circumstances surrounding Bierce’s death remain a mystery even to this day. While there has been much specualtion about what happened to him or who might have killed him, all that is really known for sure is that Bierce disappeared in Mexico sometime in late 1913 or early 1914, after becoming involved in the Mexican Revolution.
And now, if you want a little laugh, here are some of the less offensive (and short) definitions in the Devil’s Dictionary.
*Absentee, n. A person with an income who has had the forethought to remove himself from the sphere of exaction.
*Accident, n. An inevitable occurrence due to the action of immutable natural laws.
*Accordion, n. An instrument in harmony with the sentiments of an assassin.
*Ambidextrous, adj. Able to pick with equal skill a right-handed pocket or a left.
*Bore, n. A person who talks when you wish him to listen.
*Meekness, n. Uncommon patience in planing a revenge that is worthwhile.
*Misfortune, n. The kind of fortune that never misses.
*Saint, n. A dead sinner revised and edited.
*Twice, adv. Once too often.
